When I arrived home yesterday, I was looking through the stack of mail my husband had left lying on the counter. I came across a small envelope addressed to me, and without even looking at the return address, I recognized the hand-writing immediately as belonging to my m-i-l, who I've now officially dubbed as "My Cancer".
I didn't even open the envelope, instead handed it to my husband, as I was sure it held something toxic. I didn't want to read it, really would just as soon my husband hadn't read it, as I stated earlier this week, "ignorance is bliss" where this woman is concerned. But read it he did. I would've preferred he'd read it to his self and then judged whether or not I should know of it's contents, but instead, he read it aloud.
Allow me to share it with you, verbatim (although I have changed some of the names).
Pita, I want to thank you for all you did for us in making Margie's memorial so nice. I do appreciate all of your work. Why you decided not to come out to the farm, I do not know as you were here in plenty of time. I did want that time with our children before we went to the church but you saw to it it didn't happen. You didn't ruin my day, just my time I wanted with Margie's sister and brothers. Bambi & Keith made up for my loss when we got home later. Our friends were hurt because John wasn't here with us also but I think they saw the way he's treated.
Ya know, when my first two danes died, I cried so very hard. When my Poppy (grandfather) died, I cried so very hard. But never once during any of those instances, did my crying affect me so bad that it took me to the point of vomiting.
I cried for a good 45 minutes straight last evening. I soaked my husband's t-shirt with my tears as I cried on his shoulder. Eventually, I started hyperventilating, then gagging. I had my head hung over the trash can, fighting hard against the fits of gagging my stomach and esophagus were causing. My non-vomit streak was nearly broken yesterday (last puked in Nov. 1999... TMI??), but I somehow managed to keep it down.
Those first two sentences were all good and fine, and she could've left it at that.
"Why you decided not to come out to the farm, I do not know as you were here in plenty of time"... this is BS! She knows darn good and well why we didn't go there beforehand. My husband told her repeatedly why we weren't going. And besides, yes we arrived in town in plenty of time, but by that same token, couldn't she (and her other son) arrived at the church a little early instead of waiting 'til the last minute? Then she'd have had plenty of time to spend with her three surviving children without others being around. Hardly anybody arrived before 1/4 of 2... aside from John, me, his sister and dad. We were there by 1pm, they live 10 minutes away, couldn't they make it there on time? We did and we drove for over 90 minutes to get there.
"I did want that time with our children before we went to the church but you saw to it it didn't happen"... Excuse me? Since when do I have that much influence over John's sister? She drove separately and brought their father to the service. I have no control over these people! What, does she think that I held a gun to their heads to prevent them from going? And as for my husband, he never once indicated he wanted to go there. He told me up front that he didn't want to go to the farm either. So none of the four of us wanted to go, but yet some how it's all my fault that none of them went. Geesh, if I have that much influence over other people, I should run for president!
"You didn't ruin my day, just my time I wanted with Margie's sister and brothers"... I ruined her time? Kind of sounds like it's "all about her", doesn't it? To hell with what anybody else wanted, it's all about her.
"Our friends were hurt because John wasn't here with us also but I think they saw the way he's treated"... How he's treated? Let see, while he was meeting and greeting people, I went and sat with his aunts and cousins that live out of town and we rarely ever get to see, and visited with them for a few minutes. Once the service started, I sat beside my husband and held his hand. Once the service was over, he jumped up to go and thank the towns folk for coming while I hugged his out-of-town relatives and asked what there plans were for the rest of the afternoon. After we parted ways, I stood at the back of the church and waited quietly for my husband to join me, only to hear his sister start barking orders at him to go after their dad and keep an eye on him (as his dad was scurrying down the aisle using his walker, intent upon exiting the building), so John went running after his dad. But somehow, all of this us summed up by his mother as "how he was treated" by me of course. What did I do?
I begged my husband and his sister (as I called her after I'd calmed down) to tell me, WHAT DID I DO? How did I treat him? I was there to be supportive of him. Did I do something that I wasn't aware of, subconsciously do something?? Tell me please!!!!
They both assured me I did nothing, that is simply the way their mother operates.
I wasn't upset that she said I ruined her moment, I could care less about that. But her insinuation that I treat my husband badly, that is what devastated me, and drove me to the brink of physical illness. But I'm sure that was her whole intent when she wrote that.
My husband spent all evening trying to convince me that I shouldn't let it bother me, because if I did, then she was "winning". His sister said the same thing to me, "don't be upset by it, don't let her win". It's easy for them to say, they weren't the direct targets of her words.
At 3 o'clock this morning, after I'd finished packing his lunch and returned to bed as he finished getting dressed, I started crying all over again. I can't help it. This woman is my cancer. I suppose in order to beat it, I need to get treatment (therapy). Until I do, it (she) is going to continue to ravage my very being, just as a cancer would do.
I will say this much, I've endured a lot of crap from My Cancer over the past 22 years, and nothing ever gets said or done about it, but this time, my husband did pick up the phone and call her and tell her he didn't appreciated what she wrote.
Thank you my love, for finally taking up for me and letting her know how she treated me wasn't acceptable. For letting her know how that afternoon wasn't my fault. Of course she argued back that it was, but at least he tried.
My Cancer is dead to me, as far as I'm concerned. I'll never answer another phone call from her, never open another email from her, never be in the same room with her. There is nothing My Cancer can say or do that will ever make up for all the hurt she's caused over the years. And this is all such a shame, because it didn't have to be this way.
But honestly, I think the woman is jealous. Jealous of anybody and everybody that receives attention from her children and doesn't give the same/equal attention to her. She's jealous that her ex-husband (their father) gets so much attention from his children... yes, he does. He's frailer than she, doesn't drive and has trouble walking, so yes, he needs more assistance. But he also treats his children kinder than she ever has, so why shouldn't they prefer being around him? She's jealous of all her in-law children getting attention from their spouses, attention she'd rather have for herself.
I have no doubt that she's pissed because I never gave her any grandchildren... like that's my fault? Once upon a time I wanted children and we tried, did the infertility stuff, but finally gave up. Hell, I'm now extremely thankful we never had children. I can't imagine raising a child that would have to grow up with My Cancer as a grandparent. I shudder to think it!!
Okay, enough of my rant and rave. Life is too short to let My Cancer defeat me at every turn. I will rise above this!
I am a work in progress.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Thursday, April 29, 2010
My week thus far
After several days of rain, it finally cleared up Tuesday morning and turned out to be a very nice day, if a bit breezy.
As depressing as all the rain we've had has been, when it stopped (if only briefly), it left my newly bloomed irises covered in droplets, making them appear dappled.
I pulled weeds outside 'til my back and knees gave out, then spent the next couple of hours being light-headed and a bit dizzy. It's not bothering me today, so I don't know what that was all about.
The repairman showed up 15 minutes early, which was fine. All I needed was for the glass pane on the interior of the oven door to be replaced, but things aren't that simple. He practically had to replace the whole oven door. The only thing he didn't replace was the exterior glass, the handle and the hinge-arms. $420 later... I could've almost bought a new stove for that money. Of course it wouldn't have been a glass-top or a convection oven, but still.
As depressing as all the rain we've had has been, when it stopped (if only briefly), it left my newly bloomed irises covered in droplets, making them appear dappled.
Tuesday was also the day I was finally able to return to my riding lessons. My instructor has had double knee replacement surgery and isn't back to teaching yet, so one of her daughters filled in for her. I was nervous at the prospect of a new teacher, actually, I think it was the fear of being critiqued by a stranger, but I quickly got over it. While her style is different from her mother's, I still liked her. It felt good to be back in the saddle again. My back, which has been bothering me for the past week or so, didn't bother me at all during the class... I still haven't figured out if it's because of the position of my body in the saddle takes pressure off my back, or because I'm doing something else that requires all my focus and no time to think about the pain, or perhaps a little bit of both, but it makes for an enjoyable hour.
Wednesday, I called into the office and nothing was going on, so I took a vacation day. I accompanied my husband to his doctor appointment, good news (for now), no knee replacement surgery necessary... at least, not for a few years. The doctor gave him some meds to try for inflamation, the same exact stuff I take. While it does take the edge off, I hope it doesn't upset my husband's bowels as much as it upsets mine (TMI??).
After the doctor, we hurried home as we had much on our plate that day. John wanted to get the yard work caught up before the next round of rain came in and I wanted to get the kitchen cleaned up and the floors mopped (I mean really mopped), as I had a repairman coming to fix my oven door. We also had a landscaping contractor scheduled to come and work on our back yard and fill in the big hole created when we removed our swimming pool last fall. John worked outside, I worked inside. I took everything out of the kitchen (trash can, dogs' feeding station, hydrant-toy box, etc) and got down on my hands and knees and first scrubbed the crud off the floor, then stood up and mopped it a second time, then actually went over it a third time and dried it. It was clean enough to eat off of... if only for a few seconds. But it didn't take long for the dogs to trail through and leave the floor littered with dog hair and slobber. It was nice while it lasted.
Through out the rest of the day, evening and over night, my fur-son threw up four times and my greatroom is now wall-to-wall towels covering all the wet areas. **sigh**
I pulled weeds outside 'til my back and knees gave out, then spent the next couple of hours being light-headed and a bit dizzy. It's not bothering me today, so I don't know what that was all about.
The repairman showed up 15 minutes early, which was fine. All I needed was for the glass pane on the interior of the oven door to be replaced, but things aren't that simple. He practically had to replace the whole oven door. The only thing he didn't replace was the exterior glass, the handle and the hinge-arms. $420 later... I could've almost bought a new stove for that money. Of course it wouldn't have been a glass-top or a convection oven, but still.
While the repairman was there, the water dispenser on our fridge decided to stop working. My husband tried dropping hints, but either the guy didn't pick up on them or else he wasn't going to offer his services since it wasn't on the schedule. Either way, I really wasn't willing to pay out for another repair that I didn't consider essential at this moment. If the husband wants water that bad, he can get it from the faucet.
And just in case you're wondering what our clothes dryer is doing to some of our clothes...
I frequently open the door to find what looks like mini twisters hanging there. But for now, I'm not getting that fixed either. **sigh**
Needless to say, the landscape contractor never showed up. But what really pisses me off is that he didn't even have the courtesy to call and say he wouldn't be there. I mean seriously, how hard would it have been to make a call?? John could've taken his car to get worked on and or we could've drove to E-town and picked up our camper (as it is, we'll now have to wait 'til next Wednesday to do that). I'm none too happy with this worker (and I use that term loosely).
That evening, John had a public appearance scheduled as none other than Sparky the Fire Dog. I took Olivia up to visit him and I think she was getting more attention than Sparky. I warned the uniformed firemen that approached that they WOULD get white dog hair on their nice uniforms if they came too close, but they all waved aside my warning, not caring about the dog hair, instead wanting an opportunity to love on my girl. She accepted the attention from the guys and was even on her best behavior for the many children, both toddlers and older kids, that came up and petted her. It gives me hope that she's settling down and will be able to be used in therapy situations with children and not just adults.
Liv's tail wagged casually for all those that approached and petted, but when Sparky bent down and she stuck her head into his mouth, she immediately recognized who was in the strange costume and her tail went wild. She loves her daddy!
I'm ready for the weekend and some R&R.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Is Peter Funt hiding back there?
For the past several months, I've been seeing advertised on tv, Dr. Scholls custom orthotics.
If you haven't seen this ad and are wondering what I'm talking about, then click here to go to their website. If you have seen it, then you already know it's this gizmo you stand on in your stocking-feet and it tells you what kind of insert you need in your shoes.
A scam?
Perhaps. The jury is still out on this one.
So as the husband and I were walking through Walmart last night, we noticed that they now had one of Dr. Scholl's gizmos installed in their health/beauty department. My husband has a lot of foot problems, I have some as well. He wanted to give it a whirl, so he slipped off his shoes and stepped onto the launch-pad.
He pushed "proceed" on the display screen and the next screen instructed him to line the back of his heels up with the yellow line. Check that! Push proceed.
Next screen tells him to lean forward until the line on the screen is centered in the circle on the display. He leans forward, looking not unlike a skier flying through the air. Check that! Push proceed.
Next screen tells him to raise his right foot up, balancing on his left foot, and hold on to the posts on either side of him (but yet behind him). If you think this wasn't awkward enough, just wait... then lean forward to get that line in the circle again.
Okay, by now I'm looking around for an audience or a hidden camera crew.
I was standing somewhat off to the side, so I didn't have a clear view of the screen, so when the husband pushed proceed and it said: "now raise your left foot", I'm thinking "holy crap! Are you s'posed to do this while still holding your right foot up in the air?" Needless to say, my husband just hadn't read aloud the small paragraph that did indeed tell you to put your right foot down before picking up the left.
Once you had finished hopping up and down on one foot, rubbing your belly and patting yourself on the head all at the same time(**sarcasm**), the display proceeded to tell you what kind of custom orthotic you needed and it's product code and your "diagnosis".
John stepped off the machine and picked the corresponding orthotic up off the shelf. $50!! Holy crap!! I guess they need to charge that much to pay for the machine. Needless to say, we didn't buy it. He's got an appointment with the orthopaedic doctor tomorrow, we'll ask his opinion on these items before spending the money.
Anyway, John now wanted me to do it. I looked around and asked where the sanitizing wipes were. I commented on how unsanitary this whole process was as we could get a fungus from the previous users. He said, "that's why you leave your socks on", but I said, "no, the fungus gets on your socks, then in your shoes, and then that's all she wrote. You'll never get rid of it."
Needless to say, I gave in to humor him.
After doing my round of one-legged balancing act, first my right, then my left, I pushed proceed.
The next screen that came up had the audacity to ask if I weighed less than 180 lbs. WTF?????
It didn't ask John that!! This is the moment when I wanted to slip my shoes back on and haul off and kick the machine. This was the moment I truly gasped, looked around and asked if Peter Funt (son of Alan Funt) was going to step from behind a shelf and tell me to "Smile!" because I was on Candid Camera? This was the moment John nearly fell over onto the floor, laughing so hard. Of all the nerve! I mean seriously, my husband weighs more than me and it doesn't ask if we're male/female, and we're about the same height, so why ask me that question? Stupid machine!!!
I answered it's question (honestly) and it gave me my diagnosis... same exact thing as my husband's, only it gave me a different orthotic number. It was still as pricey though.
NOW I know why they charge so much... if it asks that weight question of the wrong person, they are liable to have to repair/replace a lot of those machines on a regular basis.
If you haven't seen this ad and are wondering what I'm talking about, then click here to go to their website. If you have seen it, then you already know it's this gizmo you stand on in your stocking-feet and it tells you what kind of insert you need in your shoes.
A scam?
Perhaps. The jury is still out on this one.
So as the husband and I were walking through Walmart last night, we noticed that they now had one of Dr. Scholl's gizmos installed in their health/beauty department. My husband has a lot of foot problems, I have some as well. He wanted to give it a whirl, so he slipped off his shoes and stepped onto the launch-pad.
He pushed "proceed" on the display screen and the next screen instructed him to line the back of his heels up with the yellow line. Check that! Push proceed.
Next screen tells him to lean forward until the line on the screen is centered in the circle on the display. He leans forward, looking not unlike a skier flying through the air. Check that! Push proceed.
Next screen tells him to raise his right foot up, balancing on his left foot, and hold on to the posts on either side of him (but yet behind him). If you think this wasn't awkward enough, just wait... then lean forward to get that line in the circle again.
Okay, by now I'm looking around for an audience or a hidden camera crew.
I was standing somewhat off to the side, so I didn't have a clear view of the screen, so when the husband pushed proceed and it said: "now raise your left foot", I'm thinking "holy crap! Are you s'posed to do this while still holding your right foot up in the air?" Needless to say, my husband just hadn't read aloud the small paragraph that did indeed tell you to put your right foot down before picking up the left.
Once you had finished hopping up and down on one foot, rubbing your belly and patting yourself on the head all at the same time(**sarcasm**), the display proceeded to tell you what kind of custom orthotic you needed and it's product code and your "diagnosis".
John stepped off the machine and picked the corresponding orthotic up off the shelf. $50!! Holy crap!! I guess they need to charge that much to pay for the machine. Needless to say, we didn't buy it. He's got an appointment with the orthopaedic doctor tomorrow, we'll ask his opinion on these items before spending the money.
Anyway, John now wanted me to do it. I looked around and asked where the sanitizing wipes were. I commented on how unsanitary this whole process was as we could get a fungus from the previous users. He said, "that's why you leave your socks on", but I said, "no, the fungus gets on your socks, then in your shoes, and then that's all she wrote. You'll never get rid of it."
Needless to say, I gave in to humor him.
After doing my round of one-legged balancing act, first my right, then my left, I pushed proceed.
The next screen that came up had the audacity to ask if I weighed less than 180 lbs. WTF?????
It didn't ask John that!! This is the moment when I wanted to slip my shoes back on and haul off and kick the machine. This was the moment I truly gasped, looked around and asked if Peter Funt (son of Alan Funt) was going to step from behind a shelf and tell me to "Smile!" because I was on Candid Camera? This was the moment John nearly fell over onto the floor, laughing so hard. Of all the nerve! I mean seriously, my husband weighs more than me and it doesn't ask if we're male/female, and we're about the same height, so why ask me that question? Stupid machine!!!
I answered it's question (honestly) and it gave me my diagnosis... same exact thing as my husband's, only it gave me a different orthotic number. It was still as pricey though.
NOW I know why they charge so much... if it asks that weight question of the wrong person, they are liable to have to repair/replace a lot of those machines on a regular basis.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Hurt feelings are not unlike a cancer
I've been struggling all morning on whether or not to blog about this. I may very well regret it once I'm done and it's out there for the world to see, but I'm tired of holding it in.
When hurt and anger are held in, it eats at your heart, your mind, body and soul like a cancer.
I often hold in much of what I'm feeling, despite what many people think about me being rather vocal and blunt. If people only knew how much I truly held in, never spoke about (at least not in depth), they'd be stunned.
I usually hold it in either to avoid getting into a confrontation with the offender and figure it's the easiest way to keep the peace. Sometimes I keep it held in out of respect to an elder. And yet other times I hold it in out of deference to someone else that I hold near & dear to my heart.
But I think I may have finally reached my breaking point.
After reading three other blogs this morning, all written by different people on apologizing, hurt feelings and anger, and carrying around emotional baggage, I just decided to hell with it. To hell with the consequences, I'm blogging it.
I've had a rather tumultuous relationship with my m-i-l for the past 22 years. It's been on-again/off-again (more off than on). It started off good, but ignorance was bliss at that time. Once I got to know her, things started to go bad. Things became actually chilly there for a while, and the only time they thawed (if for a brief time) was when her other son left his wife and took up with another woman. It was fodder for gossip, and she wanted to know everything that was going on, so I suppose she got over her dislike of me and sucked up to me enough to pump me for information with frequent phone calls.
The thaw was short-lived and a few months later, once again things got ugly. Really ugly.
The fact that she cussed me out was irrelevant, what hurt me most was that she hurt her son and daughter and had no consideration for anyone but herself.
Everything was all about her!
I've witnessed her hurt my husband so many times I can't begin to count them. He forgives her (even though the hurt remains) simply because she is his mother and he loves her, and my husband has a very tender heart and a forgiving nature.
After her husband died and she finally got around to cleaning out his closet, she called my husband and asked if he wanted any of his step-father's clothes. He told her "No", just to give them to charity. So what did she do instead? She boxed several of the items up and sent them to him for Christmas. These old clothes with missing buttons and some barely more than rags, was somewhat of a slap in the face to John. I've never seen him with such a hurt expression in all my life as when he opened that box on xmas morning and he couldn't hold back his tears. Not tears for his step-father's memory, but tears of hurt brought on by her insistence that he take them off her hand. He'd have rather received nothing from her than a phone call, but to send him used clothing he'd already expressly told her he didn't want was just beyond insulting.
She'd also had her portrait made and put it in a frame and sent that to John. He was happy with the portrait. In fact, he would've been happy if that had been all she'd sent. But the clothes hurt his feelings. And because she'd hurt him, she'd hurt me.
This past week she has lied and manipulated and tried to control everyone in the family to suit her own needs.
Out of the goodness of my heart, I offered to help with much of the funeral arrangements for her eldest daughter, both to ease their financial and emotional burden on the family. My employer was VERY generous in allowing me to do this. My offer was accepted, and from that point on, the situation got out of control.
She has a way of hearing only what she wants to hear whether it's from a verbal conversation or from an email. She picks out the parts that will suit her needs and easily omits the words she doesn't want to hear. And then she'll turn around and tell the next person only the bits and pieces she wants them to hear, injecting her own words and putting a spin on the conversation that is so far out in left field that it couldn't be further from the truth! When I heard what she was telling her other daughter about what I was going to do for them, I said, "whoa!, we never discussed that" and I immediately emailed her and told her what I would be doing.
But that wasn't good enough. It had to be her way or no way. And that's exactly how it went. She wasn't willing to bend just a little to help me out, despite me bending over backwards to help them out. And as a result, everyone in attendance at the church sat and stared at an empty urn (not that most people knew it) because she wanted to control the situation. She'd rather her daughter's remains not be in attendance for her own memorial service, then to give in to my request.
And what was my request? you may ask... I wanted to transfer the ashes into the urn at the church (in some back room or basement). She wanted me to do it at the house.
Hello!!! I couldn't do it at the house as the florist had the urn and delivered it straight to the church along with the flowers. All she had to do was arrive at the church 15 minutes before the others and bring the ashes, but no, that wasn't the way she wanted things done. It was her way or no way.
I got the silent treatment/cold shoulder from her, her other son and his wife (who I'd just as soon never spoke to me anyway) and their three children, all for refusing to come to the house. My husband and I (nor his dad or other sister) wanted to go there because they have 14 dogs running around, it had been raining and the ground was nasty and we didn't want to get dirty before the service (or after for that matter). But she (they?) couldn't understand that.
And after the service, his brother, mother and even their neighbor proceeded to lay guilt trip after guilt trip on my husband about not going back to the house for the party. Yes, I said party.
I can't tell you how many times over this past week he has told them he only has that one day off, we can't stay after the service, blah, blah, blah. They were even calling him on the way home wanting to know why he wasn't staying the night. Hello!!! How many freaking times does he have to explain it? But they don't want to hear it. Everything is all about them! All they were interested in hearing is John say "I'll be right over and I think I'll say 'screw my job!', I'm not going to work tomorrow even though I've already used up all my funeral leave".
If you think I'm lying or exaggerating, you're wrong. There are so many more details I could be giving, but my fingers and shoulders are tired of typing.
I have absolutely no use for this woman. If/when she passes away, the only tears that I'll be shedding are tears of joy. If she never calls me or emails me ever again, I'll only be too happy. She better hope her son gets off his ass in the future to buy her mother's day cards or birthday cards or Christmas gifts, etc., because honestly, she'd never get a damned thing if I didn't get them for her. But no more. I'm not lifting a finger (other than the middle one) for her in the future.
She can dislike me all she wants, I don't care.
But hurting her own son? I guess she knows that's the best way to hurt me, so that's what she'll do. And so the hurt feelings will grow like a cancer until I can convince my husband to let me speak my piece to her and get it off my chest. In the meantime, I'm doing my best to honor his wishes and keep the peace, and in the meantime, the cancer grows inside me.
When hurt and anger are held in, it eats at your heart, your mind, body and soul like a cancer.
I often hold in much of what I'm feeling, despite what many people think about me being rather vocal and blunt. If people only knew how much I truly held in, never spoke about (at least not in depth), they'd be stunned.
I usually hold it in either to avoid getting into a confrontation with the offender and figure it's the easiest way to keep the peace. Sometimes I keep it held in out of respect to an elder. And yet other times I hold it in out of deference to someone else that I hold near & dear to my heart.
But I think I may have finally reached my breaking point.
After reading three other blogs this morning, all written by different people on apologizing, hurt feelings and anger, and carrying around emotional baggage, I just decided to hell with it. To hell with the consequences, I'm blogging it.
I've had a rather tumultuous relationship with my m-i-l for the past 22 years. It's been on-again/off-again (more off than on). It started off good, but ignorance was bliss at that time. Once I got to know her, things started to go bad. Things became actually chilly there for a while, and the only time they thawed (if for a brief time) was when her other son left his wife and took up with another woman. It was fodder for gossip, and she wanted to know everything that was going on, so I suppose she got over her dislike of me and sucked up to me enough to pump me for information with frequent phone calls.
The thaw was short-lived and a few months later, once again things got ugly. Really ugly.
The fact that she cussed me out was irrelevant, what hurt me most was that she hurt her son and daughter and had no consideration for anyone but herself.
Everything was all about her!
I've witnessed her hurt my husband so many times I can't begin to count them. He forgives her (even though the hurt remains) simply because she is his mother and he loves her, and my husband has a very tender heart and a forgiving nature.
After her husband died and she finally got around to cleaning out his closet, she called my husband and asked if he wanted any of his step-father's clothes. He told her "No", just to give them to charity. So what did she do instead? She boxed several of the items up and sent them to him for Christmas. These old clothes with missing buttons and some barely more than rags, was somewhat of a slap in the face to John. I've never seen him with such a hurt expression in all my life as when he opened that box on xmas morning and he couldn't hold back his tears. Not tears for his step-father's memory, but tears of hurt brought on by her insistence that he take them off her hand. He'd have rather received nothing from her than a phone call, but to send him used clothing he'd already expressly told her he didn't want was just beyond insulting.
She'd also had her portrait made and put it in a frame and sent that to John. He was happy with the portrait. In fact, he would've been happy if that had been all she'd sent. But the clothes hurt his feelings. And because she'd hurt him, she'd hurt me.
This past week she has lied and manipulated and tried to control everyone in the family to suit her own needs.
Out of the goodness of my heart, I offered to help with much of the funeral arrangements for her eldest daughter, both to ease their financial and emotional burden on the family. My employer was VERY generous in allowing me to do this. My offer was accepted, and from that point on, the situation got out of control.
She has a way of hearing only what she wants to hear whether it's from a verbal conversation or from an email. She picks out the parts that will suit her needs and easily omits the words she doesn't want to hear. And then she'll turn around and tell the next person only the bits and pieces she wants them to hear, injecting her own words and putting a spin on the conversation that is so far out in left field that it couldn't be further from the truth! When I heard what she was telling her other daughter about what I was going to do for them, I said, "whoa!, we never discussed that" and I immediately emailed her and told her what I would be doing.
But that wasn't good enough. It had to be her way or no way. And that's exactly how it went. She wasn't willing to bend just a little to help me out, despite me bending over backwards to help them out. And as a result, everyone in attendance at the church sat and stared at an empty urn (not that most people knew it) because she wanted to control the situation. She'd rather her daughter's remains not be in attendance for her own memorial service, then to give in to my request.
And what was my request? you may ask... I wanted to transfer the ashes into the urn at the church (in some back room or basement). She wanted me to do it at the house.
Hello!!! I couldn't do it at the house as the florist had the urn and delivered it straight to the church along with the flowers. All she had to do was arrive at the church 15 minutes before the others and bring the ashes, but no, that wasn't the way she wanted things done. It was her way or no way.
I got the silent treatment/cold shoulder from her, her other son and his wife (who I'd just as soon never spoke to me anyway) and their three children, all for refusing to come to the house. My husband and I (nor his dad or other sister) wanted to go there because they have 14 dogs running around, it had been raining and the ground was nasty and we didn't want to get dirty before the service (or after for that matter). But she (they?) couldn't understand that.
And after the service, his brother, mother and even their neighbor proceeded to lay guilt trip after guilt trip on my husband about not going back to the house for the party. Yes, I said party.
I can't tell you how many times over this past week he has told them he only has that one day off, we can't stay after the service, blah, blah, blah. They were even calling him on the way home wanting to know why he wasn't staying the night. Hello!!! How many freaking times does he have to explain it? But they don't want to hear it. Everything is all about them! All they were interested in hearing is John say "I'll be right over and I think I'll say 'screw my job!', I'm not going to work tomorrow even though I've already used up all my funeral leave".
If you think I'm lying or exaggerating, you're wrong. There are so many more details I could be giving, but my fingers and shoulders are tired of typing.
I have absolutely no use for this woman. If/when she passes away, the only tears that I'll be shedding are tears of joy. If she never calls me or emails me ever again, I'll only be too happy. She better hope her son gets off his ass in the future to buy her mother's day cards or birthday cards or Christmas gifts, etc., because honestly, she'd never get a damned thing if I didn't get them for her. But no more. I'm not lifting a finger (other than the middle one) for her in the future.
She can dislike me all she wants, I don't care.
But hurting her own son? I guess she knows that's the best way to hurt me, so that's what she'll do. And so the hurt feelings will grow like a cancer until I can convince my husband to let me speak my piece to her and get it off my chest. In the meantime, I'm doing my best to honor his wishes and keep the peace, and in the meantime, the cancer grows inside me.
2 Steps Forward, 3 Steps Back
Ever feel like you're constantly losing ground?
Or on the rare occasions you do gain a little ground, something comes along to set you back once more?
Welcome to my world. This is my life.
Now that the tax refund (that my co. messed up on) is within grasp, we had (emphasis on HAD) some decisions to make on what to do with it...
1) we could bank it and put it towards a down payment on a new vehicle for the husband in the fall
2) we could go on and pay off a couple of bills and perhaps get him that new vehicle a little sooner than planned
3) we could replace a couple of aging appliances before they completely crap-out... we looked at perhaps getting a new dish washer as ours sucks, and replacing the hot water heater. A couple of our neighbors whose homes aren't quite as old as ours, have had to replace theirs in the past couple of years, so we figure ours will crap-out soon. We were hoping to head off the disaster.
We no longer have those choices to make, as it's been taken out of our hands.
The glass on our oven door broke the other day, and I'm now expecting a repairman this week to replace it and I'm unable to use my oven in the meantime.
Our clothes dryer, which really isn't all that old, I noticed this past week that the plastic molding (for lack of better description) that goes around the opening, has several hairline cracks in it and as a result, thin or light weight clothing gets snagged in the cracks and then hangs there, getting twisted into a tight rope, and the bit of cloth that's in the crack, once freed, is left with a black grease-like smudge on it. So clothing is either getting ruined or else I'm having to rewash it and either hang it up to dry or take a gamble on tossing it in the dryer again. So it's like this: do I want to just live with it and gamble with my clothing?, get a repairman to replace the part which will probably end up costing about as much as a new dryer when all is said and done?, or just go on and get a new dryer?
And now that we're getting our camper back, we get to start paying to store it at a facility nearby.
Yep, we don't even have the refund check in-hand yet, and it's already spent.
It's the American way!!
On the plus side, we don't have to worry about that free computer we thought we were getting. That isn't going to happen now.
Yea! (?)
Or on the rare occasions you do gain a little ground, something comes along to set you back once more?
Welcome to my world. This is my life.
Now that the tax refund (that my co. messed up on) is within grasp, we had (emphasis on HAD) some decisions to make on what to do with it...
1) we could bank it and put it towards a down payment on a new vehicle for the husband in the fall
2) we could go on and pay off a couple of bills and perhaps get him that new vehicle a little sooner than planned
3) we could replace a couple of aging appliances before they completely crap-out... we looked at perhaps getting a new dish washer as ours sucks, and replacing the hot water heater. A couple of our neighbors whose homes aren't quite as old as ours, have had to replace theirs in the past couple of years, so we figure ours will crap-out soon. We were hoping to head off the disaster.
We no longer have those choices to make, as it's been taken out of our hands.
The glass on our oven door broke the other day, and I'm now expecting a repairman this week to replace it and I'm unable to use my oven in the meantime.
Our clothes dryer, which really isn't all that old, I noticed this past week that the plastic molding (for lack of better description) that goes around the opening, has several hairline cracks in it and as a result, thin or light weight clothing gets snagged in the cracks and then hangs there, getting twisted into a tight rope, and the bit of cloth that's in the crack, once freed, is left with a black grease-like smudge on it. So clothing is either getting ruined or else I'm having to rewash it and either hang it up to dry or take a gamble on tossing it in the dryer again. So it's like this: do I want to just live with it and gamble with my clothing?, get a repairman to replace the part which will probably end up costing about as much as a new dryer when all is said and done?, or just go on and get a new dryer?
And now that we're getting our camper back, we get to start paying to store it at a facility nearby.
Yep, we don't even have the refund check in-hand yet, and it's already spent.
It's the American way!!
On the plus side, we don't have to worry about that free computer we thought we were getting. That isn't going to happen now.
Yea! (?)
Friday, April 23, 2010
This & that
*It's been less than 5 weeks since I had my head shaved for St. Baldricks, and it's amazing how much my hair has grown out in that time. This may fall under the category of TMI, but isn't blogging a place for honesty and sharing?
When I first get my head shaved, I usually wear a hat or scarf for the first couple of weeks, then after that, it's optional depending on the weather &/or my mood.
For those couple of weeks, I keep it covered for two reasons: 1) it's a big adjustment going from lots of hair to none, and as it's still fairly cold weather at that time, my head does feel every little breeze and get chilled. and 2) the sudden loss of hair reveals (causes?) redness on my scalp, like eczema. I don't know if that's what it actually is, but washing my scalp in Aveeno soap and applying lotion has always cleared it up within that time.
This year, for whatever reason, after it cleared up, it suddenly came back a couple of weeks later. Only problem now is that my hair has grown out enough that it's nearly impossible to apply lotion to my scalp. It gets all over my hair and looks cruddy. My solution? I shaved my head again last night and started the "healing" process over again. Hopefully this time it will last.
I've kinda decided I really do like the bald-look and am half tempted to just keep it this way from now on, or at very least, 'til cold weather sets in again next fall. Maybe I'll start a new trend... or maybe not.
*My husband's sister's memorial service is this Sunday afternoon. Stress has abounded in the family, mostly betwixt my other s-i-l, myself and her mother. This past week has been been very stressful for me.
Maybe my eczema is caused by stress. Think I can blame my m-i-l for causing it??
*I'm almost sure she (or somebody else) will have something to say about me showing up for the memorial service bald. I hadn't considered this before I started shaving, but once I realized it, there wasn't anything I could do to undo my handi-work. I told my husband this morning, laughingly, "if you sister can show up at our wedding dressed like a street-walker, I can show up at her memorial service as a skin-head".
*It's been almost 7 months since we dropped our camper off at the repair shop. In case you don't remember why, let me remind you (scroll to the bottom of that blog for photos of our problems).
Anyway, after many phone calls and delays, the repair shop called this morning to say they'd finally gotten the replacement part in. And now that they've got the camper disassembled, they found the water damage I tried telling them about but they couldn't find (men!!). But the man did say he felt it was minor and they should be able to fix it and still keep cost at the original estimate (Bless him!!) and it should be ready for pick-up some time next week.
That's the good news.
The bad news...
The infestation problem we tackled with 4 bug bombs didn't fix the problem. The little buggers are back. Grrrr!!
He said they were going to leave it opened up (inside the shop **gasp, horror of horrors please don't let their shop become infested!!!!!!**) to air out and that they had sprayed some bug killer into the area they seemed to be nesting at. Cross your fingers and hope like heck it works this time!!!!!!!!!
*That problem with my company taking out the wrong taxes from my check was corrected last week. Makes a big difference in my check. Still kicking myself for not noticing sooner, and now I'm wondering how far back this problem goes (as I can only request a refund for the past 2 years). I could dig out my older tax returns, but do I really want to cause myself stress? No.
Anyway, I finally got the refund forms mailed to the corporate office and am awaiting them to sign/notarize the returns so I can get them sent in and get my money back.
Of course I had to pay the accountant to prepare these forms.... shouldn't my employer have to pay this fee since they're the ones that screwed up?
The idea of a nice refund for a change was making me smile until I just now realized that I'll probably have to pay taxes on it next year. Grrrr! Why can't I ever win????
When I first get my head shaved, I usually wear a hat or scarf for the first couple of weeks, then after that, it's optional depending on the weather &/or my mood.
For those couple of weeks, I keep it covered for two reasons: 1) it's a big adjustment going from lots of hair to none, and as it's still fairly cold weather at that time, my head does feel every little breeze and get chilled. and 2) the sudden loss of hair reveals (causes?) redness on my scalp, like eczema. I don't know if that's what it actually is, but washing my scalp in Aveeno soap and applying lotion has always cleared it up within that time.
This year, for whatever reason, after it cleared up, it suddenly came back a couple of weeks later. Only problem now is that my hair has grown out enough that it's nearly impossible to apply lotion to my scalp. It gets all over my hair and looks cruddy. My solution? I shaved my head again last night and started the "healing" process over again. Hopefully this time it will last.
I've kinda decided I really do like the bald-look and am half tempted to just keep it this way from now on, or at very least, 'til cold weather sets in again next fall. Maybe I'll start a new trend... or maybe not.
*My husband's sister's memorial service is this Sunday afternoon. Stress has abounded in the family, mostly betwixt my other s-i-l, myself and her mother. This past week has been been very stressful for me.
Maybe my eczema is caused by stress. Think I can blame my m-i-l for causing it??
*I'm almost sure she (or somebody else) will have something to say about me showing up for the memorial service bald. I hadn't considered this before I started shaving, but once I realized it, there wasn't anything I could do to undo my handi-work. I told my husband this morning, laughingly, "if you sister can show up at our wedding dressed like a street-walker, I can show up at her memorial service as a skin-head".
*It's been almost 7 months since we dropped our camper off at the repair shop. In case you don't remember why, let me remind you (scroll to the bottom of that blog for photos of our problems).
Anyway, after many phone calls and delays, the repair shop called this morning to say they'd finally gotten the replacement part in. And now that they've got the camper disassembled, they found the water damage I tried telling them about but they couldn't find (men!!). But the man did say he felt it was minor and they should be able to fix it and still keep cost at the original estimate (Bless him!!) and it should be ready for pick-up some time next week.
That's the good news.
The bad news...
The infestation problem we tackled with 4 bug bombs didn't fix the problem. The little buggers are back. Grrrr!!
He said they were going to leave it opened up (inside the shop **gasp, horror of horrors please don't let their shop become infested!!!!!!**) to air out and that they had sprayed some bug killer into the area they seemed to be nesting at. Cross your fingers and hope like heck it works this time!!!!!!!!!
*That problem with my company taking out the wrong taxes from my check was corrected last week. Makes a big difference in my check. Still kicking myself for not noticing sooner, and now I'm wondering how far back this problem goes (as I can only request a refund for the past 2 years). I could dig out my older tax returns, but do I really want to cause myself stress? No.
Anyway, I finally got the refund forms mailed to the corporate office and am awaiting them to sign/notarize the returns so I can get them sent in and get my money back.
Of course I had to pay the accountant to prepare these forms.... shouldn't my employer have to pay this fee since they're the ones that screwed up?
The idea of a nice refund for a change was making me smile until I just now realized that I'll probably have to pay taxes on it next year. Grrrr! Why can't I ever win????
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Tagged
T/T, over at Green-eyed Momster, tagged me to answer these questions, so I'm playing along.
How did you find my Green-Eyed Momster blog?
Gosh, it's been so long ago now, I can't definitely remember, but I think I came across it by visiting Just-Another-Mommy-Blog or Searching for Life (or whatever Brian's blog was called when he still had it). The more I think about it, I think it was his blog.
What do you consider the one thing you can't live without?
Besides the obvious answers of air, water, food and money in the bank... hmm, I'd have to say my hubby and furbabies. Perhaps for short periods of time when necessary, but not for long.
How many animals do you have?
Currently: 3 Great Danes, 2 cats, and 1 husband.
What's your favorite movie of all time?
I don't think I could pick an absolute favorite, I've got a lot that I really like.
Runaway Jury
Old Dogs
Steel Magnolias
Beaches
(the last two I like watching w/my husband, because they always make him cry)
What's the first thing you'd do if you won a million dollars?
Pay all my bills &/or by a few acres out in the country somewhere that I could build a house on.
Have you seen my P.E.N.I.S?
Indeed I have! And we've never even met face to face. ha!!
How did you find my Green-Eyed Momster blog?
Gosh, it's been so long ago now, I can't definitely remember, but I think I came across it by visiting Just-Another-Mommy-Blog or Searching for Life (or whatever Brian's blog was called when he still had it). The more I think about it, I think it was his blog.
What do you consider the one thing you can't live without?
Besides the obvious answers of air, water, food and money in the bank... hmm, I'd have to say my hubby and furbabies. Perhaps for short periods of time when necessary, but not for long.
How many animals do you have?
Currently: 3 Great Danes, 2 cats, and 1 husband.
What's your favorite movie of all time?
I don't think I could pick an absolute favorite, I've got a lot that I really like.
Runaway Jury
Old Dogs
Steel Magnolias
Beaches
(the last two I like watching w/my husband, because they always make him cry)
What's the first thing you'd do if you won a million dollars?
Pay all my bills &/or by a few acres out in the country somewhere that I could build a house on.
Have you seen my P.E.N.I.S?
Indeed I have! And we've never even met face to face. ha!!
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
TV-talk
Okay, just gotta sound off here...
Is anybody else as thankful to see Kate gone from D.W.T.S. as I am? Truly, I don't know how she stayed on as long as she did.
The Biggest Loser...
The field of contestants is getting smaller and the show will only be on for about another month. Just thought I'd put in my 2-cents worth on who I'd like to see in the final four.
There are now only 7 players left, and I like all 7. Am very glad Melissa is gone!!
But after watching last night, I lost some respect for a couple of players, and no longer have any desire to see them make it to the final four... gray team, go home!
My final four pick is...
yellow team: Sunshine & O'Neal**,
orange team: Daris
and white team: Michael
**I just love O'Neal, he makes me teary-eyed almost every week. I really want to see him do well.
Is anybody else as thankful to see Kate gone from D.W.T.S. as I am? Truly, I don't know how she stayed on as long as she did.
The Biggest Loser...
The field of contestants is getting smaller and the show will only be on for about another month. Just thought I'd put in my 2-cents worth on who I'd like to see in the final four.
There are now only 7 players left, and I like all 7. Am very glad Melissa is gone!!
But after watching last night, I lost some respect for a couple of players, and no longer have any desire to see them make it to the final four... gray team, go home!
My final four pick is...
yellow team: Sunshine & O'Neal**,
orange team: Daris
and white team: Michael
**I just love O'Neal, he makes me teary-eyed almost every week. I really want to see him do well.
I'm a hypocrite
I know it is wrong to hate another human being.
But I have such an intense dislike for a couple of people that I have the misfortune of being acquainted with, that it practically consumes me at times.
One of those people I very rarely have to come into contact with, and that suits me fine. On the rare occasions we have to be in the presence of one another, I do my best to suck it up and just be civil when forced to talk with him/her. That person usually stays out of my way, so it's not really that big of a deal... as long as others don't force me to be in his/her presence any more than necessary, I can handle it.
The other person isn't so easy. While I still don't have to see him/her very often, I am, unfortunately, forced to deal with them more often, even if by email. And it galls me to no end to have to try and put on a false front for this person, pretend to be nice, sweet and loving, when what I really want to do is rip them to shreds with my words, and tell them once and for all what I think of their lying, manipulative, controlling, sometimes drunken way of life. But I can't. Or at least, I won't.
I hate myself for being such a hypocrite. But I do it for the sake of someone else that I do love more than life itself.
I recently started reading Maya's book "I know why the caged bird sings", and after reading about all the hardships she has had to endure as a child and young woman, yet has risen above all that and maintained a positive attitude, I can't help but ask myself, "why can't I just 'let it go?' and stop letting these people get under my skin so badly?"
I don't have any good answer (or bad one for that matter).
But at the rate I'm going, if I'm continued to have to deal with this person in my life, I can see myself going on blood-pressure medicine in the near future.
I am a work in progress.
But I have such an intense dislike for a couple of people that I have the misfortune of being acquainted with, that it practically consumes me at times.
One of those people I very rarely have to come into contact with, and that suits me fine. On the rare occasions we have to be in the presence of one another, I do my best to suck it up and just be civil when forced to talk with him/her. That person usually stays out of my way, so it's not really that big of a deal... as long as others don't force me to be in his/her presence any more than necessary, I can handle it.
The other person isn't so easy. While I still don't have to see him/her very often, I am, unfortunately, forced to deal with them more often, even if by email. And it galls me to no end to have to try and put on a false front for this person, pretend to be nice, sweet and loving, when what I really want to do is rip them to shreds with my words, and tell them once and for all what I think of their lying, manipulative, controlling, sometimes drunken way of life. But I can't. Or at least, I won't.
I hate myself for being such a hypocrite. But I do it for the sake of someone else that I do love more than life itself.
I recently started reading Maya's book "I know why the caged bird sings", and after reading about all the hardships she has had to endure as a child and young woman, yet has risen above all that and maintained a positive attitude, I can't help but ask myself, "why can't I just 'let it go?' and stop letting these people get under my skin so badly?"
I don't have any good answer (or bad one for that matter).
But at the rate I'm going, if I'm continued to have to deal with this person in my life, I can see myself going on blood-pressure medicine in the near future.
I am a work in progress.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
And in walks a ghost...
As most of you know by now, it has become our habit on Monday evenings to go to Moe's Southwest Grill for Moe-Monday burritos. We went through the line and ordered our usual, and just as we were getting ready to pay for our food, the husband and I both happened to glance towards the doorway and saw a man walk in.
I paused, staring at the man and scrambled to make sense of what I was seeing.
I knew that my eyes were surely playing tricks on me, for the man I was sure I was seeing was dead.
Even though I stared for a mere couple of seconds, it felt like forever before I turned back towards the cashier. But no sooner had I done this than my husband voiced aloud the very thoughts I'd been having.
He nudged me and said, "look at that guy. He looks just like..." and I finished his sentence for him. We were both on the save wave-length.
I was happy to know my eyes and mind weren't playing tricks on me, but it was still a little unsettling to see this ghost.
It was 13 months ago to the day that we had gone to the funeral home and seen our friend lying in the casket, after having committed suicide.
I reminded my husband that the man had had a brother that bore a striking resemblance to him, maybe somehow he'd ventured south and into our neck of the woods. Or perhaps it was a cousin.
We went and sat down, but my husband wasn't about to let it rest. I had my back to the general population of diners, but he positioned himself so he could watch everyone coming and going. He mumbled that he'd love to ask the man his last name, but was afraid that if indeed he was related, that it might invoke sad/bad memories for the man and upset him, and he didn't want to do that. But he just had to know!
He waited for his opportunity and when it presented itself, he jumped in. As the man was walking past our table, John spoke up and asked the man if his last name was Gregory. The man answered, giving a different last name, but it was still eerie, seeing him up close, as it was just like having our old friend standing right there beside us.
Perhaps it was his ghost, just stopping by to say "hi".
I paused, staring at the man and scrambled to make sense of what I was seeing.
I knew that my eyes were surely playing tricks on me, for the man I was sure I was seeing was dead.
Even though I stared for a mere couple of seconds, it felt like forever before I turned back towards the cashier. But no sooner had I done this than my husband voiced aloud the very thoughts I'd been having.
He nudged me and said, "look at that guy. He looks just like..." and I finished his sentence for him. We were both on the save wave-length.
I was happy to know my eyes and mind weren't playing tricks on me, but it was still a little unsettling to see this ghost.
It was 13 months ago to the day that we had gone to the funeral home and seen our friend lying in the casket, after having committed suicide.
I reminded my husband that the man had had a brother that bore a striking resemblance to him, maybe somehow he'd ventured south and into our neck of the woods. Or perhaps it was a cousin.
We went and sat down, but my husband wasn't about to let it rest. I had my back to the general population of diners, but he positioned himself so he could watch everyone coming and going. He mumbled that he'd love to ask the man his last name, but was afraid that if indeed he was related, that it might invoke sad/bad memories for the man and upset him, and he didn't want to do that. But he just had to know!
He waited for his opportunity and when it presented itself, he jumped in. As the man was walking past our table, John spoke up and asked the man if his last name was Gregory. The man answered, giving a different last name, but it was still eerie, seeing him up close, as it was just like having our old friend standing right there beside us.
Perhaps it was his ghost, just stopping by to say "hi".
Monday, April 19, 2010
Happy Birthday Boo-Boo!!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday dear Bootsy!
Happy Birthday to you!
And many mooooooooore!!!!
I don't have any true puppy pictures of my Boo-Boo girl, as she was almost full grown by the time we got her.
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Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday dear Bootsy!
Happy Birthday to you!
And many mooooooooore!!!!
I don't have any true puppy pictures of my Boo-Boo girl, as she was almost full grown by the time we got her.
This is the youngest photo I have, when she was about 14 or 15 months old... AND, still had a tail.
And this was on or about the time of her 5th birthday. Notice the face is starting to turn white.
And then these two photos, taken this morning, see how very white her face has turned? The white hairs might belie her as being an old woman, but she shows no sign of slowing down and still speeds around like a nimble youngster.
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And we can't forget to say Happy 7th Birthday to her sister, Bella.
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Perhaps he's having a bad day
Something Dr. Angelou said last night made me smile (actually, a lot of things made me smile/laugh), but this one thing is hitting home right now.
It's how we are all "a work in progress". Specifically, she commented on how whenever she hears someone profess to "being a christian", she replies "already? I'm still working on it."
Along those lines for life in general and just trying to be a good person, I realize that we are all "a work in progress". How many times have I blogged that "I'm going to try and do better or be more positive, less negative", only to lapse back into my old ways before the day is through? Too many times to count, I'm sure!
But I am a work in progress. I do want to be a better person. But it isn't easy.
I bring all this up because of an email I received earlier today. Actually, 2 emails.
The first was from a friend/neighbor that lives on the opposite side of the neighborhood.
He sent an email out to everyone in the neighborhood, regardless of whether they have pets or not, and made a request that you not let your dog(s) out in the middle of the night because the barking wakes them up.
My first reaction as a pet owner was for my feathers to get ruffled. I get defensive whenever anyone comments negatively about my fur-babies. They are after all, my children. But I re-read the email, calmed down a bit and realized he wasn't singling us out. I hit the "reply all" button and told the sender and everyone else he'd emailed to that I hoped he wasn't hearing my dogs from that far away. However, as it is our routine to let the dogs out first thing when we get up (which is between 2:30 and 4:30 am), I wasn't about to change their bathroom habits at this late point in their lives, lest I start having to clean up a lot of accidents in the house. Generally, at that early hour, mine go out, do their business, and don't make a peep. That is unless they see/hear somebody nearby moving about at that time.
Now the reason I hit "reply all" instead of just sending it to the sender, was that in the event other neighbors were going to jump on his bandwagon and start complaining, I wanted them to know the facts up front.
The original sender replied back and assured me my dogs weren't the problem. I didn't think they were, but still fretted over it until he replied back.
Then I got an email from somebody else that had been on the mailing list... Why info me ??? I do not know you and take me off your address auto list!!
I don't know the man personally, but I know which house he lives in. Obviously, he has never taken the time to look at his homeowners directory to learn the names of his fellow neighbors, or else he'd realize I live in the same tiny subdivision.
I had to resist the urge to email him back and say "look ASSHOLE! I'm your neighbor and was simply giving a courtesy reply to everyone that received the initial email about barking dogs."
Yes, the urge was there, and had it been a PMS day, I'd probably have done it for sure. But for once, common sense and the speech of Dr. Angelou gave was still lingering in my head, so I resisted the urge and let it go.
I'm trying to tell myself that perhaps he's just having a bad day and needed someone to take it out on.
Perhaps next time I walk past his house, I'll let my dog crap in his yard and not pick it up...
It's how we are all "a work in progress". Specifically, she commented on how whenever she hears someone profess to "being a christian", she replies "already? I'm still working on it."
Along those lines for life in general and just trying to be a good person, I realize that we are all "a work in progress". How many times have I blogged that "I'm going to try and do better or be more positive, less negative", only to lapse back into my old ways before the day is through? Too many times to count, I'm sure!
But I am a work in progress. I do want to be a better person. But it isn't easy.
I bring all this up because of an email I received earlier today. Actually, 2 emails.
The first was from a friend/neighbor that lives on the opposite side of the neighborhood.
He sent an email out to everyone in the neighborhood, regardless of whether they have pets or not, and made a request that you not let your dog(s) out in the middle of the night because the barking wakes them up.
My first reaction as a pet owner was for my feathers to get ruffled. I get defensive whenever anyone comments negatively about my fur-babies. They are after all, my children. But I re-read the email, calmed down a bit and realized he wasn't singling us out. I hit the "reply all" button and told the sender and everyone else he'd emailed to that I hoped he wasn't hearing my dogs from that far away. However, as it is our routine to let the dogs out first thing when we get up (which is between 2:30 and 4:30 am), I wasn't about to change their bathroom habits at this late point in their lives, lest I start having to clean up a lot of accidents in the house. Generally, at that early hour, mine go out, do their business, and don't make a peep. That is unless they see/hear somebody nearby moving about at that time.
Now the reason I hit "reply all" instead of just sending it to the sender, was that in the event other neighbors were going to jump on his bandwagon and start complaining, I wanted them to know the facts up front.
The original sender replied back and assured me my dogs weren't the problem. I didn't think they were, but still fretted over it until he replied back.
Then I got an email from somebody else that had been on the mailing list... Why info me ??? I do not know you and take me off your address auto list!!
I don't know the man personally, but I know which house he lives in. Obviously, he has never taken the time to look at his homeowners directory to learn the names of his fellow neighbors, or else he'd realize I live in the same tiny subdivision.
I had to resist the urge to email him back and say "look ASSHOLE! I'm your neighbor and was simply giving a courtesy reply to everyone that received the initial email about barking dogs."
Yes, the urge was there, and had it been a PMS day, I'd probably have done it for sure. But for once, common sense and the speech of Dr. Angelou gave was still lingering in my head, so I resisted the urge and let it go.
I'm trying to tell myself that perhaps he's just having a bad day and needed someone to take it out on.
Perhaps next time I walk past his house, I'll let my dog crap in his yard and not pick it up...
A freaking GREAT weekend!!!!!!
Back pain aside, I had a pretty darned good weekend.
The weather was bright and sunny, if not a wee bit chilly at times if you were in the shade or when the breeze picked up.
It was a good day at the farm Saturday afternoon. I started a new painting project, although I neglected to take photos. After I got home, I managed to get the inside of my car somewhat cleaned out... vacuumed, wiped down and windows clean. Still not a spotlessly clean car, but it's better than it was.
Sunday, as I sat on the heating pad wishing away the back pain, I looked at my icky sliding glass doors, coated in dried dog slobber. It is such a pain to clean, you practically have to chisel the crud off. Suddenly I was struck with an inspiration! My scumbuster!! Why not? I had nothing to lose, aside from dried dog slobber, so I filled a bucket with warm, mildly sudsy water and fetched the scumbuster and a dry towel (I preferred the cheese-cloth style for this as it would leave less lint on the glass). It worked miracles!!
I started at the top and worked my way down, the scumbuster whisked away the crud without effort. When I'd get each window about half done, I'd stop and wipe off the suds from the glass with the towel. There was actually minimal streaking, and when I was completely done, a couple of pieces of papertowel and some Windex removed the streaks.
I'll never go back to cleaning them the old way again. And I'm saving a fortune on papertowels (before I'd go through half a roll or else many sections of newspaper) and don't use nearly as much Windex and certainly, it cuts the cleaning time down to a fraction of what it used to be. It worked so well, I scrubbed the vinyl siding by our entry way and then hosed if off. If only I could clean ALL the siding all around the house this way.
Now for the best part...
A neighbor/friend and I went to an event to hear Dr. Maya Angelou speak. It was one of the best hours I think I've ever spent in my life!! I could've sat and listened to her speak all night. The hour was over much too quickly and left me wanting more. I firmly believe that her teachings should be required learning for EVERYBODY!!!!!!
I was surprised at how frail she looked, as she needed assistance walking out onto stage, sitting down and again exiting. But her voice was strong. At her age, she might not be touring and speaking many more times, but if any of you ever have the opportunity to go and see/hear her, I absolutely recommend going. It's worth the time and money.
I had hoped she would be signing autographs afterwards, but considering her frail health and the brace on her wrist, it didn't happen. Of course, even if she had, considering the number of people there, I'd probably still be standing in line this time tomorrow.
Cameras weren't allowed at the event either, so I couldn't even take a photograph. My evening with Dr. Maya Angelou will simply have to live on in my memory and my heart.
The weather was bright and sunny, if not a wee bit chilly at times if you were in the shade or when the breeze picked up.
It was a good day at the farm Saturday afternoon. I started a new painting project, although I neglected to take photos. After I got home, I managed to get the inside of my car somewhat cleaned out... vacuumed, wiped down and windows clean. Still not a spotlessly clean car, but it's better than it was.
Sunday, as I sat on the heating pad wishing away the back pain, I looked at my icky sliding glass doors, coated in dried dog slobber. It is such a pain to clean, you practically have to chisel the crud off. Suddenly I was struck with an inspiration! My scumbuster!! Why not? I had nothing to lose, aside from dried dog slobber, so I filled a bucket with warm, mildly sudsy water and fetched the scumbuster and a dry towel (I preferred the cheese-cloth style for this as it would leave less lint on the glass). It worked miracles!!
I started at the top and worked my way down, the scumbuster whisked away the crud without effort. When I'd get each window about half done, I'd stop and wipe off the suds from the glass with the towel. There was actually minimal streaking, and when I was completely done, a couple of pieces of papertowel and some Windex removed the streaks.
I'll never go back to cleaning them the old way again. And I'm saving a fortune on papertowels (before I'd go through half a roll or else many sections of newspaper) and don't use nearly as much Windex and certainly, it cuts the cleaning time down to a fraction of what it used to be. It worked so well, I scrubbed the vinyl siding by our entry way and then hosed if off. If only I could clean ALL the siding all around the house this way.
Now for the best part...
A neighbor/friend and I went to an event to hear Dr. Maya Angelou speak. It was one of the best hours I think I've ever spent in my life!! I could've sat and listened to her speak all night. The hour was over much too quickly and left me wanting more. I firmly believe that her teachings should be required learning for EVERYBODY!!!!!!
I was surprised at how frail she looked, as she needed assistance walking out onto stage, sitting down and again exiting. But her voice was strong. At her age, she might not be touring and speaking many more times, but if any of you ever have the opportunity to go and see/hear her, I absolutely recommend going. It's worth the time and money.
I had hoped she would be signing autographs afterwards, but considering her frail health and the brace on her wrist, it didn't happen. Of course, even if she had, considering the number of people there, I'd probably still be standing in line this time tomorrow.
Cameras weren't allowed at the event either, so I couldn't even take a photograph. My evening with Dr. Maya Angelou will simply have to live on in my memory and my heart.
Friday, April 16, 2010
Miscellaneous stuff
*Gift-horse
I know it's not polite to look a gift-horse in the mouth, or to refuse a gift that was given with loving thoughts. Well, in this case I really couldn't look it in the mouth, as the mouth is "no more", and if we actually do receive the gift, we will accept it. But in all honesty, not all gifts, no matter how well intended they are/were, are always a blessing, but somewhat of a burden.
I was informed last night that we're s'posed to be getting a new (used) computer, it's just a matter of getting it here from Florida. I don't foresee it arriving anytime soon (if ever). But if it does, part of me is going, "do I/we really want/need it?"
This means I'll have to find a place to put it (assuming it's not a laptop). And while I can always find uses for a computer that isn't hooked up to the internet (even though right now I am making due with my work computer), my husband's sole use for it would be to play solitaire. And honestly, we've got several decks of dust-covered cards lying around the house now that don't get played. So basically, a home computer would do us no good without internet service, which means we'd now incur a monthly bill we really don't need. And I remember how much time I used to spend on the computer back when we had one (and the aggravation of the internet service being sucky). Do I really want to get sucked into wasting more time on the computer again when I already spend 8 hours a day in front of one?
Seriously, I'm having mixed emotions about this.
*Going paperless.
My husband's employer decided to go paperless several weeks ago where payroll was concerned. They no longer mail out a checkstub to the employees. If they want to see their stub, they have to go on-line to view it. I guess that's all good and fine for those that have computers at home (or on their cell phones), but that leaves the rest of us S.O.L.
Okay, you might be thinking to yourself: Pitawoman, this should make accepting that new computer an easy decision.
But why should I pay for a monthly internet service, just so I can see his checkstub? That's a rip off!
His company tells the employees that if they don't have a home computer, they can always go to the local public library. This doesn't set well with me or many of his co-workers.
#1) Why should I have to drive out of my way and then wait in line at the library, just to see how much money he has made and make sure the deductions and what-not are correct? Sure, this is saving his employer a postage stamp, but it's costing us a fortune in gas and time.
#2) Some of the employees are worried that once they've used the library computer, others (computer geniuses) will be able to view their personal information.
#3) In my opinion, the company should go back to handing out the paychecks to the employees on payday when they arrive at work. That's the way they used to do it 20 years ago and it worked out just fine. Let's go back to the 1980's and we'll all be happy!
*Making conversation
This somewhat relates back to a blog I wrote a couple of weeks ago about attitude, facial expressions and hard work.
I'm not typically much on conversation. I'm not a great conversationalist. But from time to time I find my voice when it comes to certain topics, or if I'm really comfortable with a person, I have no problem keeping up the chatter.
But generally, I'm a quiet person. I don't have to be a part of every conversation that is going on around me. I'm content to let others do the talking (although in all honesty, a lot of times I wish they'd shut up as well).
Some people are just "Chatty-Kathy's" and can't stand it if there is silence around them or if others are talking and they aren't a part of it. Many of these very people (whether I know them well or not) will try to draw me into a conversation and can't seem to stand it if I don't open up to them. I try to keep my answers brief and it seems to make them crazy. The more they try, the harder I resist, and so it goes. You'd think after so many years, they'd take a hint and leave me alone. But they persist.
*Being neighborly
Some people can't say a simple "thank you". The way they act, you'd think it was a sin to utter the words. My husband did something for one of our neighbors last night, and not for the first time, and as usual, said neighbor simply walked into their house without even a "hey, thanks".
Actually, I've never known these people to thank anybody for anything that's done for them, and it's for darned certain they've never returned the favor(s) that I'm aware of, to anybody. Part of me wonders why my husband and others persist, but I guess it's a case of "kill 'em with kindness".
I know it's not polite to look a gift-horse in the mouth, or to refuse a gift that was given with loving thoughts. Well, in this case I really couldn't look it in the mouth, as the mouth is "no more", and if we actually do receive the gift, we will accept it. But in all honesty, not all gifts, no matter how well intended they are/were, are always a blessing, but somewhat of a burden.
I was informed last night that we're s'posed to be getting a new (used) computer, it's just a matter of getting it here from Florida. I don't foresee it arriving anytime soon (if ever). But if it does, part of me is going, "do I/we really want/need it?"
This means I'll have to find a place to put it (assuming it's not a laptop). And while I can always find uses for a computer that isn't hooked up to the internet (even though right now I am making due with my work computer), my husband's sole use for it would be to play solitaire. And honestly, we've got several decks of dust-covered cards lying around the house now that don't get played. So basically, a home computer would do us no good without internet service, which means we'd now incur a monthly bill we really don't need. And I remember how much time I used to spend on the computer back when we had one (and the aggravation of the internet service being sucky). Do I really want to get sucked into wasting more time on the computer again when I already spend 8 hours a day in front of one?
Seriously, I'm having mixed emotions about this.
*Going paperless.
My husband's employer decided to go paperless several weeks ago where payroll was concerned. They no longer mail out a checkstub to the employees. If they want to see their stub, they have to go on-line to view it. I guess that's all good and fine for those that have computers at home (or on their cell phones), but that leaves the rest of us S.O.L.
Okay, you might be thinking to yourself: Pitawoman, this should make accepting that new computer an easy decision.
But why should I pay for a monthly internet service, just so I can see his checkstub? That's a rip off!
His company tells the employees that if they don't have a home computer, they can always go to the local public library. This doesn't set well with me or many of his co-workers.
#1) Why should I have to drive out of my way and then wait in line at the library, just to see how much money he has made and make sure the deductions and what-not are correct? Sure, this is saving his employer a postage stamp, but it's costing us a fortune in gas and time.
#2) Some of the employees are worried that once they've used the library computer, others (computer geniuses) will be able to view their personal information.
#3) In my opinion, the company should go back to handing out the paychecks to the employees on payday when they arrive at work. That's the way they used to do it 20 years ago and it worked out just fine. Let's go back to the 1980's and we'll all be happy!
*Making conversation
This somewhat relates back to a blog I wrote a couple of weeks ago about attitude, facial expressions and hard work.
I'm not typically much on conversation. I'm not a great conversationalist. But from time to time I find my voice when it comes to certain topics, or if I'm really comfortable with a person, I have no problem keeping up the chatter.
But generally, I'm a quiet person. I don't have to be a part of every conversation that is going on around me. I'm content to let others do the talking (although in all honesty, a lot of times I wish they'd shut up as well).
Some people are just "Chatty-Kathy's" and can't stand it if there is silence around them or if others are talking and they aren't a part of it. Many of these very people (whether I know them well or not) will try to draw me into a conversation and can't seem to stand it if I don't open up to them. I try to keep my answers brief and it seems to make them crazy. The more they try, the harder I resist, and so it goes. You'd think after so many years, they'd take a hint and leave me alone. But they persist.
*Being neighborly
Some people can't say a simple "thank you". The way they act, you'd think it was a sin to utter the words. My husband did something for one of our neighbors last night, and not for the first time, and as usual, said neighbor simply walked into their house without even a "hey, thanks".
Actually, I've never known these people to thank anybody for anything that's done for them, and it's for darned certain they've never returned the favor(s) that I'm aware of, to anybody. Part of me wonders why my husband and others persist, but I guess it's a case of "kill 'em with kindness".
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Random Thoughts
*Does anyone else find it peculiar the number of large earth quakes our planet has experienced since the first of the year? Kind of makes me think the world is falling apart. Our area is not far from a major fault line and I can't help but wonder if we'll be feeling the earth rattle here soon.
*I had a most peculiar dream last night. It was some kind of twisted amalgam of several things in my life right now, from the neighbors across the street to the death of my husband's sister to dining out with family/friends to the feelings of resentment towards some others. I know that theoretically, most dreams are exactly that, amalgams, but this was probably one of the rare ones where I could easily identify the mix.
*I'm going to an event this Sunday evening, an opportunity of a lifetime that I'm very much looking forward to. I can't say much more about it, but be certain, Monday morning I'll be blogging like crazy about it!
*Tax day. We got ours done several weeks ago, but I just put the stamp on it today. Why send uncle Sam a check any sooner than I have to? While we're on the subject of taxes... if you work at a job that doesn't hold taxes out of your check, why the hell would you act so surprised when you have to pay several thousand at tax time? Personally, I think I'd be looking for a different job, or else personally holding out "X" amount from each check and put it in a savings account and not touch it 'til tax time. I have an acquaintance that has such a job, and then just seems so amazed when she owes a small fortune each year. I'd really like to help, but "You just can't fix stupid!"
*My car is really dirty. Inside and out. It's covered in a chartreuse coating of pollen and bug-guts on the windshield. I'm hoping we get the rain that is predicted for tomorrow night, that way, I'll only have to clean out the inside. ;)
*Thunder over Louisville is Saturday. I've never been, have no desire to ever go. Fireworks and air-shows don't impress me. Guess I'll need to tranquilize the dogs at dinner time so they won't be terrified when the fireworks start going off.
*There are a couple of movies coming out that actually have piqued my interest. "Death at a Funeral" and "Grown-Ups". Even though I'd rather watch a movie at home, I may have to suck it up and go to the theater.
*I had a most peculiar dream last night. It was some kind of twisted amalgam of several things in my life right now, from the neighbors across the street to the death of my husband's sister to dining out with family/friends to the feelings of resentment towards some others. I know that theoretically, most dreams are exactly that, amalgams, but this was probably one of the rare ones where I could easily identify the mix.
*I'm going to an event this Sunday evening, an opportunity of a lifetime that I'm very much looking forward to. I can't say much more about it, but be certain, Monday morning I'll be blogging like crazy about it!
*Tax day. We got ours done several weeks ago, but I just put the stamp on it today. Why send uncle Sam a check any sooner than I have to? While we're on the subject of taxes... if you work at a job that doesn't hold taxes out of your check, why the hell would you act so surprised when you have to pay several thousand at tax time? Personally, I think I'd be looking for a different job, or else personally holding out "X" amount from each check and put it in a savings account and not touch it 'til tax time. I have an acquaintance that has such a job, and then just seems so amazed when she owes a small fortune each year. I'd really like to help, but "You just can't fix stupid!"
*My car is really dirty. Inside and out. It's covered in a chartreuse coating of pollen and bug-guts on the windshield. I'm hoping we get the rain that is predicted for tomorrow night, that way, I'll only have to clean out the inside. ;)
*Thunder over Louisville is Saturday. I've never been, have no desire to ever go. Fireworks and air-shows don't impress me. Guess I'll need to tranquilize the dogs at dinner time so they won't be terrified when the fireworks start going off.
*There are a couple of movies coming out that actually have piqued my interest. "Death at a Funeral" and "Grown-Ups". Even though I'd rather watch a movie at home, I may have to suck it up and go to the theater.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Another loss
Back in mid-February, there were four imminent deaths among our family and friends. As of yesterday, three of those four have passed on. Death is becoming a way too common part of our lives of late.
My husband called me just before 1pm and informed of his sister's passing. I know how very sad he is and the rest of his family, but I take comfort in knowing she's no longer suffering. I'm sad for his/their sake. Perhaps I shouldn't admit this, it probably makes me sound like a horrible person, but I felt no personal sense of loss. No tears shed on my behalf.
**sigh**
I must go now. Her sister and daughter are coming in to look at urns.
My husband called me just before 1pm and informed of his sister's passing. I know how very sad he is and the rest of his family, but I take comfort in knowing she's no longer suffering. I'm sad for his/their sake. Perhaps I shouldn't admit this, it probably makes me sound like a horrible person, but I felt no personal sense of loss. No tears shed on my behalf.
**sigh**
I must go now. Her sister and daughter are coming in to look at urns.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Weekend in review
Another fabulous weekend has come and gone. The weather was freaking fantastic! I could live with 75 degree weather 365/year. Not too hot, not too cold. Just right!
Saturday was a busy day for Liv and I. Saturday morning, we had the MS walk at Waterfront Park. She behaved very nicely, even letting a little boy pet her, who I suspect was autistic. This was monumental in my book, 1) because she doesn't always behave very well around children and 2) because when we had Kelsey, she positively did not like autistics being near her.
Saturday afternoon I was at the farm. Even though it's early April, the flies are already getting bad. :(
That evening, Olivia and I were to meet John's cousin (Kali) at the local park for a photo shoot... of Olivia, not me. Kali is taking a photography class and needed to take photos of dogs for a project she's working on. She had to use an "old fashioned" camera... you remember the kind, that actually used 35mm film. No digital cameras for this assignment. First rule of photography, make sure you've got enough film (and batteries if the camera uses them). Kali learned that lesson at our shoot. She'd only gotten two pictures taken before running out of film. Oh well, we'll try again later in the week.
Sunday, I spent the entire day swapping my winter wardrobe out for my summer clothes. This meant several extra loads of laundry and standing on my feet most of the day pushing a hot iron back and forth over the wrinkled items. That evening, we sat with the neighbors around their fire pit, where their (almost) 3 year old daughter pointed out how fat my belly was. It's hard to get upset with such a young child in their innocent honesty.
The husband and I also took lots of photos this weekend, mostly of our favorite subject(s): our fur babies.
I saw this "growth" on a stem of my aloe plant the other morning, and thought some kind of weird fungus had developed. (see it right in the center of the pic?)
Upon closer inspection, I realized it was one of Eliott's dried dog slobbers that he'd flung onto the plant. Welcome to my world. I never know where I'll find these things around the house. ;)
Sunday morning, she was enjoying sunning herself by the backdoor. You can see Bootsy's feet through the screen, she was wanting to come back inside...
but finally gave up and went to frolic with Eliott some more.
Dogs make great pillows, especially Eliott!!
I admit there aren't as many photos of Bootsy as the others, but I do take them. It's just that more often than not, she just blends into the background and it's hard to see her. And too, Bootsy just tends to hang back and mind her own business (actually, I think she just tries to stay put so she won't lose whatever comfortable spot she's occupying) and let the other two kids get all the attention.
Olivia wasn't about to let Eliott have all of her daddy's attention...
so she came over and butted in on the affection.
Since Eliott seemed to have the prime position, she just opted for walking back and forth over John, treating him like a speed bump in the road.
My lap dog!
Saturday was a busy day for Liv and I. Saturday morning, we had the MS walk at Waterfront Park. She behaved very nicely, even letting a little boy pet her, who I suspect was autistic. This was monumental in my book, 1) because she doesn't always behave very well around children and 2) because when we had Kelsey, she positively did not like autistics being near her.
Saturday afternoon I was at the farm. Even though it's early April, the flies are already getting bad. :(
That evening, Olivia and I were to meet John's cousin (Kali) at the local park for a photo shoot... of Olivia, not me. Kali is taking a photography class and needed to take photos of dogs for a project she's working on. She had to use an "old fashioned" camera... you remember the kind, that actually used 35mm film. No digital cameras for this assignment. First rule of photography, make sure you've got enough film (and batteries if the camera uses them). Kali learned that lesson at our shoot. She'd only gotten two pictures taken before running out of film. Oh well, we'll try again later in the week.
Sunday, I spent the entire day swapping my winter wardrobe out for my summer clothes. This meant several extra loads of laundry and standing on my feet most of the day pushing a hot iron back and forth over the wrinkled items. That evening, we sat with the neighbors around their fire pit, where their (almost) 3 year old daughter pointed out how fat my belly was. It's hard to get upset with such a young child in their innocent honesty.
The husband and I also took lots of photos this weekend, mostly of our favorite subject(s): our fur babies.
I saw this "growth" on a stem of my aloe plant the other morning, and thought some kind of weird fungus had developed. (see it right in the center of the pic?)
Upon closer inspection, I realized it was one of Eliott's dried dog slobbers that he'd flung onto the plant. Welcome to my world. I never know where I'll find these things around the house. ;)
I had quickly stitched Olivia a couple of bandannas this past week with her name on them. When we arrived at the MS walk, they gave all the dogs that were participating an orange bandanna. I'll have to get her name stitched on it for her to wear at next years event.
Sunday morning, she was enjoying sunning herself by the backdoor. You can see Bootsy's feet through the screen, she was wanting to come back inside...
but finally gave up and went to frolic with Eliott some more.
Dogs make great pillows, especially Eliott!!
Sometimes we just have to suck it up and know that we're going to get dirty/covered in dog hair by lying in the floor with our fur babies, but that's the price we're willing to pay to get to love on them. Eliott loves it when John wrestles with him, and will often come lay in front of my recliner and let me prop my feet on him, but only after I massage him all over with my tootsies.
I admit there aren't as many photos of Bootsy as the others, but I do take them. It's just that more often than not, she just blends into the background and it's hard to see her. And too, Bootsy just tends to hang back and mind her own business (actually, I think she just tries to stay put so she won't lose whatever comfortable spot she's occupying) and let the other two kids get all the attention.
Olivia wasn't about to let Eliott have all of her daddy's attention...
so she came over and butted in on the affection.
Since Eliott seemed to have the prime position, she just opted for walking back and forth over John, treating him like a speed bump in the road.
My lap dog!
Bootsy just watched all the nonsense from the comfort of her recliner.
When I look at Livvie, I still find it hard to believe that she's 5 years old. To me, she still looks very puppy-ish.
As I finished packing the husband's lunch this morning, I emptied a jar of peanut butter. Olivia was standing int he kitchen supervising me, so I sat the jar in the floor, thinking she'd lick the residue out right there. But no, she followed her usual "m.o." when she's scored a major treat...
She picked up the jar and carried it to her crate where she could guard it and hog it all to herself.
She wasn't very happy when I finally took the jar away from her.
Hope everyone has a great week!!
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Going 10 rounds with Life
Judging by the scratches, bumps and bruises I'm sporting, I look as though I've gone 10 rounds with Ali. Fortunately, none of the marks are on my face though.
In the past week and a half, I've suffered the following boo-boos...
*I was going out to the garage and when I went to go down the steps from the hallway, I didn't step out quite far enough and raked the back of my right heel against the metal plate, removing a layer of skin.
*The husband stabbed me with his fork after dinner the other night, leaving a mark on the top of my right foot (story for another time).
*Livvie was lying on her side on the floor and when I went to step past her, she decided to flip over and stand up, sending her nails grazing the front of my left ankle and removing a layer of skin
*I was walking from the file room back to my cubicle and had my left arm bent up while rubbing my neck. The elbow was sticking straight out and I walked too close to the open door, driving the point of my elbow hard into the door's edge. I was quite certain at the moment that I'd broken it. It took me several moments to catch my breath and the pain radiated up and down my arm for quite a while afterwards.
*While trimming the dogs nails last night, one of them (okay, the wild child Olivia) spazzed and raked her nails across my left thigh, leaving big whelps.
*And let's not leave out the stitches in my lower back where the spot was removed.
It seems like there was something else that happened, but isn't that enough?
If I were a child and someone saw all those marks on my arms and legs, they'd be reporting to child welfare services that someone was abusing me.
But as it is, I've just gone 10 rounds with life.
In the past week and a half, I've suffered the following boo-boos...
*I was going out to the garage and when I went to go down the steps from the hallway, I didn't step out quite far enough and raked the back of my right heel against the metal plate, removing a layer of skin.
*The husband stabbed me with his fork after dinner the other night, leaving a mark on the top of my right foot (story for another time).
*Livvie was lying on her side on the floor and when I went to step past her, she decided to flip over and stand up, sending her nails grazing the front of my left ankle and removing a layer of skin
*I was walking from the file room back to my cubicle and had my left arm bent up while rubbing my neck. The elbow was sticking straight out and I walked too close to the open door, driving the point of my elbow hard into the door's edge. I was quite certain at the moment that I'd broken it. It took me several moments to catch my breath and the pain radiated up and down my arm for quite a while afterwards.
*While trimming the dogs nails last night, one of them (okay, the wild child Olivia) spazzed and raked her nails across my left thigh, leaving big whelps.
*And let's not leave out the stitches in my lower back where the spot was removed.
It seems like there was something else that happened, but isn't that enough?
If I were a child and someone saw all those marks on my arms and legs, they'd be reporting to child welfare services that someone was abusing me.
But as it is, I've just gone 10 rounds with life.
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
How low can you go?
Innocent until proven guilty. That's what our judicial system claims about those accused of a crime. Okay, so I'll go along with that "theory" for the rest of this story.
For the past few months, a frequent headline in our local news has been about the fire chief of one of the local fire departments (no, not either of the departments my husband serves on). This chief (now former-chief) is accused of money laundering, wire fraud and mail fraud. I think I read something about tax evasion in one of the previous articles as well.
From everything I've heard about this man from some of the people who know (knew) him better than I, he "came from money" and shouldn't have been hurting for extra income. But greed and power gets the better of some people. I may not condone it, but I suppose I understand it. Power is an intoxicating feeling for some people.
We all frowned upon those involved with the likes of Enron and Bernie Maedoff's (sp?) ponzi scheme for being so greedy and stealing from the retirement accounts of their employees &/or clients. Shame on them!!!
Now this fire chief was a trusted member of the community and not just as a leader of the fire department, but as a member of the board of directos for a large local charity. Many people felt he could do no wrong. And I suppose, until a guilty-verdict is handed down in court or he pleads guilty, then he is still innocent. But honestly, even if found not-guilty, he has fallen from grace and few will ever put their faith and trust in the man again.
I think the absolute worst thing about the crimes he's accused of committing, is that he was stealing money that had been donated and was supposed to have been forwarded on to the charity he helped chair. Instead, he was (supposedly) depositing it in a separate bank account that only he had access to and then helping himself to the funds whenever he wanted.
He was, in effect, stealing money from handicapped children.
How low can you go sir?
If you are guilty of the crimes you've been charged with, that puts you right on par with child molestors. Scum of the earth!!!
If found guilty, I hope he gets the 150 year sentence that they are dangling over his head.
I just hope this doesn't cause irreversible damage to the charity's image.
http://www.whas11.com/news/Former-McMahan-fire-chief-taken-into-custody-after-being-criminally-charged-89999972.html
For the past few months, a frequent headline in our local news has been about the fire chief of one of the local fire departments (no, not either of the departments my husband serves on). This chief (now former-chief) is accused of money laundering, wire fraud and mail fraud. I think I read something about tax evasion in one of the previous articles as well.
From everything I've heard about this man from some of the people who know (knew) him better than I, he "came from money" and shouldn't have been hurting for extra income. But greed and power gets the better of some people. I may not condone it, but I suppose I understand it. Power is an intoxicating feeling for some people.
We all frowned upon those involved with the likes of Enron and Bernie Maedoff's (sp?) ponzi scheme for being so greedy and stealing from the retirement accounts of their employees &/or clients. Shame on them!!!
Now this fire chief was a trusted member of the community and not just as a leader of the fire department, but as a member of the board of directos for a large local charity. Many people felt he could do no wrong. And I suppose, until a guilty-verdict is handed down in court or he pleads guilty, then he is still innocent. But honestly, even if found not-guilty, he has fallen from grace and few will ever put their faith and trust in the man again.
I think the absolute worst thing about the crimes he's accused of committing, is that he was stealing money that had been donated and was supposed to have been forwarded on to the charity he helped chair. Instead, he was (supposedly) depositing it in a separate bank account that only he had access to and then helping himself to the funds whenever he wanted.
He was, in effect, stealing money from handicapped children.
How low can you go sir?
If you are guilty of the crimes you've been charged with, that puts you right on par with child molestors. Scum of the earth!!!
If found guilty, I hope he gets the 150 year sentence that they are dangling over his head.
I just hope this doesn't cause irreversible damage to the charity's image.
http://www.whas11.com/news/Former-McMahan-fire-chief-taken-into-custody-after-being-criminally-charged-89999972.html
Monday, April 05, 2010
Ending on a high note!
After what started off as a rather crummy week with a co-worker being let go, a dear ol' friend passing away, and then the derma-doc removing yet another spot from my back , and of course the on-going problems with his family, things ended on a very high note!
Saturday was the big day that Olivia and I have been waiting for and working towards for so long. Well, she might not have been waiting for it, but I was. Liv was, I'm sure, oblivious to anything special going on. I loaded her into the car and we drove to Shively so she could be tested for her worthiness in the therapy pet program.
There were 5 little bitty dogs running around (all under 10 lbs.,) and she was quite fascinated by them scurrying around below her. She did well on her test, only hitch was when I tried to get her to go "down". She was more interested in what the other dogs were doing than paying attention to me. After a couple of false starts, she finally went about half-way down and we were told that was good enough. Of course, if I'd had a treat in my hand, I've no doubt she'd have gone down on the first try.
After we were done testing, Olivia and I drove out to Bernheim Forest with Emma, as she wanted to show me where the Adventure Camp was held. This week long camp takes place in May and again in September. I'm hoping I'll be able to take off work for one or two days that week so that I can take Olivia out there. It's a beautiful facility!
On the way back to Emma's, we stopped at a DQ and got a small vanilla soft-serve for Olivia to celebrate her big accomplishment. While we sat outside and enjoyed our ice cream, a family pulled up next to us that had been driving by and noticed her, they ooh'd and aah'd, commenting on how well behaved she was. I was beaming with pride. :)
So it is with great pride that I can now introduce Olivia to the world as the newest member of Pet Love, Inc.
I slipped one of my t-shirts over her head. I need to get some fabric this week so I can stitch a scarf for her to wear when she goes on visits.
It might've taken us five years to get to this point, but all in all, not a bad accomplishment for
a deaf, partially blind, epileptic dog.
Easter morning she enjoyed sunning herself by the backdoor.
It truly was a fabulous weekend!!
Saturday was the big day that Olivia and I have been waiting for and working towards for so long. Well, she might not have been waiting for it, but I was. Liv was, I'm sure, oblivious to anything special going on. I loaded her into the car and we drove to Shively so she could be tested for her worthiness in the therapy pet program.
There were 5 little bitty dogs running around (all under 10 lbs.,) and she was quite fascinated by them scurrying around below her. She did well on her test, only hitch was when I tried to get her to go "down". She was more interested in what the other dogs were doing than paying attention to me. After a couple of false starts, she finally went about half-way down and we were told that was good enough. Of course, if I'd had a treat in my hand, I've no doubt she'd have gone down on the first try.
After we were done testing, Olivia and I drove out to Bernheim Forest with Emma, as she wanted to show me where the Adventure Camp was held. This week long camp takes place in May and again in September. I'm hoping I'll be able to take off work for one or two days that week so that I can take Olivia out there. It's a beautiful facility!
On the way back to Emma's, we stopped at a DQ and got a small vanilla soft-serve for Olivia to celebrate her big accomplishment. While we sat outside and enjoyed our ice cream, a family pulled up next to us that had been driving by and noticed her, they ooh'd and aah'd, commenting on how well behaved she was. I was beaming with pride. :)
So it is with great pride that I can now introduce Olivia to the world as the newest member of Pet Love, Inc.
I slipped one of my t-shirts over her head. I need to get some fabric this week so I can stitch a scarf for her to wear when she goes on visits.
It might've taken us five years to get to this point, but all in all, not a bad accomplishment for
a deaf, partially blind, epileptic dog.
Easter morning she enjoyed sunning herself by the backdoor.
It truly was a fabulous weekend!!
Thursday, April 01, 2010
Remembering A Legend
I found out yesterday morning, quite by accident (or perhaps by fate) that a friend had passed away on Monday and that his visitation would be yesterday evening. While I was thankful I'd discovered this info before it was too late to pay my respects, I was somewhat perturbed that others hadn't shared the information with me. Especially since they knew I wanted to know if anything should happen and I thought we had a mutual agreement to call one another as soon as we heard anything. Apparently out of almost 10 people, I was the only one willing to live up to that mutual agreement. Whatever happened to common courtesy?
Perhaps everyone just assumes that since I work in a funeral home, I somehow automatically know when people pass. Got news for ya peoples, unless they are using the home I work for, I'm clueless. I don't read the obituaries, or surf the 'net looking for daily deaths.
So we went, we visited. I didn't think the person(s) responsible for making up the deceased did a very good job, and I know that person is capable of doing great work. But this wasn't one of his/her better jobs. It was as if they tried to make a nearly 80 year old man look 25 again.
While there, we ran into some old friends/neighbors that we rarely get to see anymore. We've always had a good time when we get together and I miss having them live next door. We ended up going to dinner with them afterwards and spent a couple of hours laughing and remembering good times. It's sad that it takes something like the passing of another friend to force us to take time out of our busy lives to get together.
We remembered our departed friend. He was a legend in our neighborhood. Always kept the most meticulous lawn, weeds were not allowed on his property. He set the bar on lawncare that everyone else strived (and failed) to meet. Some have come close over the years, but never quite matched The Legend. We attended several Halloween costume parties over the years, and The Legend never failed to disappoint us with his costumes. The Legend had some quirky sayings that we'd never heard before, and they eventually became synonymous with our friend... if we ever hear someone else use those phrases, we automatically ask if they too knew The Legend.
I haven't always agreed with all of The Legend's personal views on things going on in our society, but I realize we're all entitled to our own opinions and that is what makes each of us unique.
The Legend had a wonderful since of humor and a positive outlook on life and was an inspiration to many. He loved to have a good time and enjoy the company of friends/family. I can't remember him ever being angry over anything, not even the $300+ water bill he had one month from his daily watering of his lawn. He just took anything and everything that came his way all in stride, much as he did his illness that lead to his death.
The Legend and his wife never had any children, and they became almost like surrogate grandparents to many of the neighbors and their small children over the years. The Legend loved his wife in a way that so few men seem to do in this day and age and everything he did, he did it for her. She was his whole world. My last conversation with him a few weeks ago, the only time he came close to breaking down while discussing his illness, was when he worried over who would take care of his wife when he was gone. He set a fine example that all married couples should follow on revering their spouse.
I'm going to miss The Legend.
Perhaps everyone just assumes that since I work in a funeral home, I somehow automatically know when people pass. Got news for ya peoples, unless they are using the home I work for, I'm clueless. I don't read the obituaries, or surf the 'net looking for daily deaths.
So we went, we visited. I didn't think the person(s) responsible for making up the deceased did a very good job, and I know that person is capable of doing great work. But this wasn't one of his/her better jobs. It was as if they tried to make a nearly 80 year old man look 25 again.
While there, we ran into some old friends/neighbors that we rarely get to see anymore. We've always had a good time when we get together and I miss having them live next door. We ended up going to dinner with them afterwards and spent a couple of hours laughing and remembering good times. It's sad that it takes something like the passing of another friend to force us to take time out of our busy lives to get together.
We remembered our departed friend. He was a legend in our neighborhood. Always kept the most meticulous lawn, weeds were not allowed on his property. He set the bar on lawncare that everyone else strived (and failed) to meet. Some have come close over the years, but never quite matched The Legend. We attended several Halloween costume parties over the years, and The Legend never failed to disappoint us with his costumes. The Legend had some quirky sayings that we'd never heard before, and they eventually became synonymous with our friend... if we ever hear someone else use those phrases, we automatically ask if they too knew The Legend.
I haven't always agreed with all of The Legend's personal views on things going on in our society, but I realize we're all entitled to our own opinions and that is what makes each of us unique.
The Legend had a wonderful since of humor and a positive outlook on life and was an inspiration to many. He loved to have a good time and enjoy the company of friends/family. I can't remember him ever being angry over anything, not even the $300+ water bill he had one month from his daily watering of his lawn. He just took anything and everything that came his way all in stride, much as he did his illness that lead to his death.
The Legend and his wife never had any children, and they became almost like surrogate grandparents to many of the neighbors and their small children over the years. The Legend loved his wife in a way that so few men seem to do in this day and age and everything he did, he did it for her. She was his whole world. My last conversation with him a few weeks ago, the only time he came close to breaking down while discussing his illness, was when he worried over who would take care of his wife when he was gone. He set a fine example that all married couples should follow on revering their spouse.
I'm going to miss The Legend.
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